Cleaning Day
by StrawberryPajamas
Summary: It's cleaning day today at Dunder-Mifflin, and Dwight and Andy fight for the new receptionist's attention. Also, Michael sends Pam and Ryan out cold calling, which doesn't go so well. S5 script set during michael scott paper co.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: T****his story, much like my other story CSI Scranton, is written in script form. I tried to write it as clearly as possible, but I realize some parts can be more confusing than others. Here's a few helpful tips--**

_(TH) _**means 'talking head' from the conference room. Anything different will be shown like this: **_(TH- somewhere)_**. **

_(VO)_ **means 'voice-over'**

_(anything written in italics and enclosed in parentheses set the tone for the scene or how a certain character is acting)_

**That's all I can think of at the moment. All right, I'll leave you to your reading. Enjoy:)**

* * *

**The Office**

**Cleaning Day**

**Cold Opening**

_(Camera pans in on the cramped closet area where Michael's new company is held. Michael is sitting at his desk and staring at his monitor, looking distinctly confused. Ryan is leaning lazily against the wall with his arms crossed. Pam is sitting alone at the poker table, doodling idly on a piece of paper. Michael speaks up.)_

Michael: So... I put the numbers in one of these box things here?

_(He points to something on the screen, and both Pam and Ryan sigh wearily)_

Ryan _(tersely)_: You put the amount of the sale in the box _after_ the last box you wrote in.

Michael _(nodding)_: Okay... and where is that?

_(Pam tilts her head back, rolling her eyes upward, and Ryan rubs his eyes with his hand. Both exchange a glance.)_

_(TH- hallway) _Pam: Michael first appointed Ryan and me to do all the spreadsheets for our new company, and _only _us. But then, Michael got jealous that we, as his workers, were getting more paperwork than he was. So he appointed himself to write out all of the spreadsheets for the Michael Scott Paper Company. _(gives the camera a look)_ Not only is that job _impossible_ to do with just one person, it's even harder when the person doing it had never even heard the phrase 'Microsoft Excel' before today.

Michael: Okay, okay-- so this little paper clip guy popped up again. Should I click...?

Pam and Ryan _(simultaneous)_: No!

Michael: All right, all right _(clicks out of the speech bubble). _Okay, moving on. So... the amount of that sale was $45.50. Aaaand... we sold that last week, right? Then that means...

_(Michael squints, trying to think, and Pam finally cuts in.)_

Pam _(slowly and clearly)_: You type 45.5 in the cell under the title 'Sales', and to the right of the title 'Week of March 2nd to March 9th'.

Michael _(shaking his head)_: Uh, no I can't do that.

Pam: Why not?

Michael: Nowhere on here does it say 'Sales' or 'Week of March 2nd to March 9th.

Pam _(shocked)_: You didn't even put the titles in yet...?!

Michael: Well, isn't this 'Microsoft Axel' program supposed to do that part for you?

Pam _(rubbing her temples)_: _Excel_

Ryan _(sarcastically)_: Actually, Michael, it's supposed to write your titles in for you after you type in your credit card number into cell F3 and press the space bar exactly seventeen and a half times.

Michael _(not picking up on the sarcasm)_: Wow, seriously?

_(Pam and Ryan exchange another glance before both look back at Michael. They have the same idea.)_

Pam: Yeah, it's pretty tough. You have to change the magnification to 167%...

Ryan: ...and adjust the margins to 1.65 lengthwise.

Michael _(blinking)_: Wha...

Pam: Oh, and all the cells have to be a quarter inch apart. _Each._

Ryan: Did you change the color palette to iris? Because the program won't work without an iris background...

Michael _(stuttering)_: I-- uh...

Pam: Also your average typing speed has to be at least an 85...

Ryan: ...Then, after the titles are in, you have to type pi from memory in fifteen random cells before the program will give you all the sales numbers automatically.

_(Pam frowns at Ryan, and he merely gives her a small shrug. Both look over at their boss.)_

Michael _(mumbling)_: Huh... that sounds really complicated...

Pam _(agreeing)_: Yeah.

Ryan _(nodding)_: Sure is.

_(Michael leans back in his chair thoughtfully, and Pam and Ryan look at him hopefully)_

Michael _(clapping, suddenly determined)_: All right, gang! Be prepared to work through lunch, 'cause you guys are gonna teach me all this mumbo jumbo!

_(Pam and Ryan both stare at Michael, then at the camera in disbelief. They groan wearily as their boss rambles on.)_

Michael: So... I cut pi into how many pieces?

**End Cold Opening**

**Theme Song**

* * *

**Now, on with the show...**

_(Camera pans in on the upstairs office, where everybodys' desks are surrounded by recycle bins and stacks of papers. Erin is replacing all of her chewed pencils with newer, more colorful ones. Phyllis is wiping down her monitor with a baby wipe, and Stanley is sitting across from her with his book of crossword puzzles. Kevin finds a container of some questionable food in a drawer. He opens the lid slightly and takes a sniff while Oscar sits beside him, looking nauseated.)_

_(TH)_ Jim: It's cleaning day today in the office. Charles is insisting that the company is going on a new 'Green' approach, so he is making us recycle every scrap of paper we decide to throw out today. _(looks thoughtful for a second)_ You know, it's truly inspiring to see someone taking the time and energy to delegate us all... to do something we do basically every other day _(gives the camera a Jim-look)_.

_(Charles is standing over the office workers, watching them clean with his hands on his hips.)_

Charles _(briskly)_: Come on people! I want this done before lunch-- you don't want to be working overtime today, do you?

Angela _(piping up from her corner)_: No, Charles, we most definitely would not like that!

_(Charles gives her an awkward, yet appreciative nod, and Angela glows)_

Charles: Yeah, uh... anyway-- just hurry it up.

_(Charles turns around and walks back into his office. The camera turns to look at Kelly, who's staring at his retreating figure with a dreamy expression on her face.)_

_(TH)_ Oscar: No, I don't really mind spring cleaning. I guess the fact that we're actually doing spring cleaning in _spring,_ and not in the dead of winter, is why I am able to actually mildly enjoy it.

_(TH)_ Toby _(nodding)_: Yes, Corporate has been pushing the whole 'Green Initiative' thing on us for quite some time now. Although, Charles and Michael had very different means of instituting this... Only difference is that Charles is actually _trying_ to be an active part in it. _(gives a small chuckle, but his smile fades after a second.)_ I have a feeling I'm going to regret saying that...

_(Camera pans in toward the supply shelf, where Jim is trying to set a heavy box onto the highest ledge of the shelf. He is standing on his tip-toes and reaching as high as his arms will allow. He is obviously having some trouble. Charles emerges from the kitchen.)_

_(Jim and Charles speak at the same time.)_

Jim: Hey, Charles. Could you--?

Charles _(keeps walking)_: --Put your back into it, Halpert.

_(Jim, still balancing the box on his fingertips, stumbles slightly on his feet. He gives a look to the camera as Charles disappears into his office.) _

* * *

_(Pam and Ryan are both walking in the parking lot toward Pam's blue Yaris. There is an awkward distance between the two as they both look up at the camera. They both then glance away, uncomfortable.)_

_(VO)_ Michael: The Michael Scott Paper Company has been a little short of clients since, um... well since it started...so I have sent Pam and Ryan out together all day to do a little cold calling. Together they're going to be an unstoppable team. Like... like Abbott and Costello. _(Michael suddenly smiles)_ Or Cheech and Chong. _(leans back, grinning to himself)_ Who else? Oh! Those dudes from that... Star Track show, or whatever. You know what I'm talking about-- Shatner, and that pointy-eared guy? Yeah, they're pretty cool. Dwight won't shut up about them... God, he's kind of a weirdo... _(Michael drifts off in thought for a second) _Ooh! Sonny and Cher...

_(Hidden camera is set on Pam's dashboard. Pam is driving as she glances over at Ryan.)_

Pam: You looking forward to doing sales calls all today?

Ryan _(vaguely)_: Eh... can't complain...

Pam _(nodding and looking forward)_: That's a first...

_(TH- outside front doors)_ Pam: Michael and Ryan are both my coworkers in this office, but Ryan is technically my only colleague. And we haven't really gotten along since, well... ever. _(gives the camera a look)_ So, yeah... I'm really hoping these sales calls will go well...

_(TH- hallway)_ Ryan: _(looking down and texting on his cell phone. He's holding up one finger, indicating that he'll be done in a second. He brings his hand down and texts for a few more seconds before the camera turns off). _

_(TH- outside front doors) _Pam _(cont.)_: … Though it might be easier to quit.

**End Scene 1**

**_To Be Continued_**


	2. Chapter 2

**The Office**

**Cleaning Day**

* * *

_**Scene 2**_

_(Erin is humming to herself as she's straightening up her already spotless desk area. Dwight saunters up to her, grinning.)_

Dwight: Hello, there... uh-- _(pauses for a second)_

Erin _(frowning)_: Erin.

Dwight: Right, right... Erin. So what's up?

_(Dwight leans heavily over the reception counter, and Erin just blinks at him, uncomfortable.)_

_(TH) _Erin: Yeah, I'm still getting settled here at Dunder-Mifflin, but I'm REALLY excited about spring cleaning! _(gives the camera a happy grin)_ I don't mean to be a 'Braggy-britches', but I consider myself an expert organizer. I keep everything in my home and office completely spotless. _(she pauses for a second)_ Normally, I wouldn't really get that excited about cleaning, but frankly... _(Erin glances around the conference room with a slightly nauseous look on her face. She then leans toward the camera and whispers, as if telling a secret.)... _this place is kind of disgusting.

Dwight _(seductively)_: So... I was thinking that, maybe, you could help me clean out the fridge today? Just you and me? It's kind of a two-man job, and I thought one man and a one thick-armed woman could get the job done just as quickly...

Erin: The employee fridge? The communal refrigerator in the kitchen that everyone uses?

Dwight: Yeah.

Erin _(emphatically)_: Oh, gosh-- absolutely!

Dwight _(satisfied)_: All right. _(checks his watch)_ Let's go now, before the lunch-rush of workers.

_(Erin gets up and follows Dwight over to the kitchen doors, grinning. Camera pans in on Andy, who's watching the two walk past him with a noticeably jealous glint in his eye.)_

_(Pam and Ryan are walking side-by-side in a parking lot toward a large, Corporate-sized building. Just as they reach the door, Ryan turns to Pam.)_

Ryan: Just in case anyone asks, you're my sister. Okay?

_(Ryan nods and leads the way through the door. Pam gives the camera a look before following him inside.)_

**End Scene 2**

* * *

_(Pam and Ryan are now sitting across the desk of a very prim-looking businesswoman. The office has a large window to the right of them, overlooking the streets of Scranton. The plaque on the woman's desk reads 'Amy Platzford, Manager', and she is searching through her briefcase for some papers. Pam gives the camera an uncomfortable smile.)_

Amy _(pulling out some documents)_: Here we are...

_(She hands the papers over to Ryan and Pam unsmilingly. They scrutinize them as she continues to speak.)_

Amy: You see, what we're looking for, here at Atlantic-Net, is a supplier who could both fit our needs for paper _and _supply it at a price we can afford...

Ryan _(interrupting snobbily)_: Well, obviously--

_(Pam elbows him hard in the ribs, and he shuts up. Amy gives them a look.)_

Pam _(quickly)_: We apologize, Amy.

Amy _(correcting)_: Ms. Platzford.

Pam _(blinking)_: Oh, right-- I'm sorry. _(trying to move the sale along)_ So... Ms. Platzford, what would you say your price-range for paper would be in this type of corporation?

_(Amy gives Pam an odd look.)_

Amy: Um... all the information you need is on the documents I just gave you. _(she indicates the papers in Pam's hand.) _Didn't I tell you five minutes ago?

Pam: Oh! _(gives a forced laugh) _Right. I'm sorry, I must have sort of... spaced out for a second. _(she smiles at Amy, who is still looking at her weirdly.)_

Amy: Can I get you a glass of water or something?

_(Pam gives a nervous look to the camera before answering.)_

Pam _(meekly)_: No, thank you...

_(There is a short, awkward pause as Pam stares down at the papers.)_

Ryan: I'll take a water.

_(He glances between the two women, who ignore him. Pam just glances desperately at the camera, looking trapped.)_

* * *

_(Camera pans in on the upstairs office workers, who are still organizing their desk areas. Camera then turns over to Stanley, who is the only one not cleaning. He is leaning back in his chair, his open crossword puzzle book face-down on his chest. He is fast asleep.)_

_(TH) _Stanley _(monotonously)_: I don't care for cleaning day and I never will. Cleaning is for the workers who get paid to come here at nine o'clock at night with all the necessary equipment for the job. And with that philosophy in mind-- I'm going to take a nap at my desk. 'Scuse me... _(gets up heavily and walks out of the room.)_

_(Erin is getting settled at her desk with a mug of coffee in her hand. Andy is watching her inconspicuously from the copier. He walks up to her desk.)_

_(VO) _Andy: Yes, I will admit it: I am interested in the new receptionist. She's cute and thoughtful and she, like, TOTALLY gets me. But, One-Certain-Salesman-Who-Shall-Not-be-Named is completely bringing down my mojo, man. This guy is totally hitting on Erin-- and, even worse, she's hitting back! I mean, he smiles at her and she, like... looks up. _(shakes his head, then suddenly bursts out)_ Seriously, what is it about Dwight Schrute that women love so much?!?

Andy _(speaking in a British accent)_: Why, 'ello they-ah Miss Lovely Lady Hannon!

_(Both laugh at his little joke.)_

Erin _(grinning)_: Hey Andy

Andy _(speaking in his normal voice)_: Hey... um--

_(He is obviously at a loss of what to say next. Erin just looks at him.)_

Andy _(stuttering)_: Um... uh... where would you... um-- What is the... uh...

Erin _(interrupting, checking her watch)_: I'm sorry, Andy, but can this wait a minute? I promised Charles that I would polish all of the door handles by 11:30, and I still have to run out and buy a toothbrush so I can reach every nook and cranny. _(she picks up her purse and stands up.)_

Andy _(relieved)_: Oh, sure. No problem... _(he suddenly sounds confused) _Wait, why do you need a toothbrush for doorknobs? I mean, don't you just have to wipe them down with a paper towel or something?

Erin _(looking at Andy, shocked)_: Merely _wiping down_ a _doorknob_?! Are you crazy...?? _(her shocked look fades, and then she suddenly laughs) _Ohh, you were just kidding, weren't you?

_(Andy was obviously being serious, but he laughs all the same.)_

Andy _(laughing loudly)_: Oh! Yeah, haha, yeah I was just kidding. Gotcha! _(punches her lightly on the arm.)_

_(Both crack up.)_

Erin _(grinning)_: That was funny. _(she takes her coat off the hook and slips it on)_... But seriously, I need to buy a toothbrush for the doorknobs, or else I'll, like, go crazy. _(she points to her head and crosses her eyes like a crazy person.)_

Andy _(curious)_: Really?

Erin: Yeah, I mean, why would you want something dirty when it can be clean? _(she sounds completely dumbfounded.)_

Andy _(interested)_: Soooo... you like things to be clean, then?

Erin _(emphatically)_: Oh, goodness-- _definitely_!

_(Both laugh again. Erin then turns around, waving goodbye to Andy, and walks out the door. Andy gives a mischevious smile to the camera.)_

_(TH)_ Andy _(coyly)_: Innnnnnteresting... _(presses his fingertips together and tucks them under his chin thoughtfully. He smiles.)_

_**End Scene 3**_

**To Be Continued**

**

* * *

**

A/N: Sorry for the wait, but I hope you liked it anyway. I absolutely LOVED the Secretary's Day episode (Erin is just so darn adorable, even when she's angry), so I kind of wanted to end this on an Andy/Erin note. Hope you guys don't mind:)

**Review, please and thank you!**


	3. Chapter 3

**The Office**

**Cleaning Day**

* * *

_**Scene 4**_

_(Dwight and Jim are working diligently at their desks.)_

Jim: Hey, Dwight?

Dwight _(not looking up from his work)_: Mmh.

Jim _(frowning)_: Um...that is not a proper response.

Dwight _(scoffing)_: A what?

Jim: I took the time to ask you a polite and dignified question, and you just answered back with an unintelligible grumble.

Dwight _(confused)_: Since when is 'Hey, Dwight?' a polite and dignified question?

Jim _(sounding hurt)_: You know what, Dwight? It shouldn't matter. I asked you a question, and you should at least have the courtesy to grace me with an answer...

Dwight _(rolling his eyes)_: Yeah, whatever.

_(Jim suddenly throws down then pen he was writing with. Dwight stares at him with wide eyes.)_

Jim _(dramatically)_: See? That's exactly what I'm talking about! You refuse to listen to what I have to say! Your ignorance could border on cruel...

Dwight _(frantic)_: Okay, okay! I'm sorry.

Jim: No you're not.

Dwight: Yes, I am. Just... don't get hysterical...

Jim _(throwing up his arms)_: Oh, you don't want to _see_ me get hysterical! This is me holding _back_!

Dwight _(quickly)_: How 'bout I just answer the stupid question? Would that make you feel better?

Jim: Oh, so I'm stupid now?

Dwight: No! That's not what I--

Jim: Just zip it, Dwight. I'm not talking to you anymore...

Dwight: No, Jim...

_(Jim holds his hands over his ears like a child)_

Jim _(shaking his head)_: I can't hear you.

Dwight _(pleading)_: No.

Jim _(still with his hands over his ears)_: I'm not listening to you!

Dwight: C'mon Jim. Can't you just--?

_(His sentence is cut short as Charles walks out of his office. He stops and stares at Jim, who still has his hands pressed over his ears and is shouting at Dwight. _

Jim: I'm not listening to you! I'm not--

_(Jim notices Charles standing over them, and quickly shuts up, bringing his arms down to his sides. There is an awkward silence.)_

Charles _(coldly)_: Let's keep the crying at a minimum today, shall we Halpert? Us grown-ups are trying to work.

Jim _(quickly)_: Yes, sir.

_(Charles walks away. Jim looks down at his desk, shooting an embarassed look to the camera. Dwight is now looking rather smug at Charles calling Jim out. Everyone resumes working.)_

**End Scene 4**

* * *

_(Pam and Ryan are again sitting in front of a desk, this time a man is sitting behind it. His placard reads 'Stephen Duncan, CEO'. Pam is looking nervous, and Ryan is looking anywhere but the man in front of him.)_

Stephen: So... if I were to buy from you guys, what would you're price-range on laser-color copy batch be?

Pam _(professionally)_: Well, along with the free shipping, laser-color we can sell for thirty-five dollars for five reams. Now, this product--

_(Pam continues speaking, and Ryan looks down at his hands. Stephen's eyes slide over to Ryan, and he frowns.)_

Stephen _(interrupting)_: I'm sorry, Miss Beesly, but is your coworker all right?

_(Pam frowns, and looks over at Ryan. She looks at what he's doing, and her eyes widen. The camera moves in, and shows that Ryan is, in fact, texting under the desk.)_

Pam: Oh, yes, he's fine...

_(Pam moves her foot over and firmly presses her heel onto his big toe. Ryan jumps slightly and quickly snaps his phone shut.) _

Pam: ...he just gets nervous during these things. Don't you Ryan?

_(Pam shoots him a look, and Ryan gulps.)_

Ryan: Y-yeah. Always nervous... that's me...

_(Stephen just nods, glancing between the two. Ryan looks sheepish, and Pam's expression is stony.)_

Pam: So... where were we?

* * *

_(The upstairs office workers are all working quietly at their desks. Suddenly, the door leading to the hallway opens and Michael tiptoes his way in.)_

Erin _(noticing Michael)_: Can I help you?

Michael: Shh!!

_(Michael presses a finger to his lips, and the other office workers stare at him. Michael crouches down and crawls over to the armchair. He pulls himself into the seat.)_

Phyllis: Michael, what are you doing here?

Michael _(whispering loudly)_: I sent Ryan and Pam out on sales calls all day today and now I've got nothing to do. So I decided to come up here and hang with you guys. Y'know... without Charles knowing and stuff...

Jim: Seriously, Michael? You want to spend your day like this?

Oscar: Yeah, Michael, this seems kind of like a waste...

Michael _(whispering snootily)_: Well, I'm sorry if not all of our time is as wisely spent as _yours_. And besides, when is crawling around and whispering everything you say like a spy _ever_ a waste of time?

Jim: Well, I can think of a couple of things...

Andy: Michael, this probably isn't a good idea.

Michael: Just, zip it guys. I've already made up my mind to spend the day up here with you guys, and you can't change it now. So... I'm gonna crawl over here to the bathroom, 'cause I have needed to pee since breakfast...

_(Michael starts army-crawling toward the kitchen. Jim just gives the camera a look.)_

**End Scene 5**

_**To Be Continued**_


	4. Chapter 4

**The Office **

**Cleaning Day**

* * *

_**Scene 6**_

_(Pam is hiding in the basement hallway with her cell phone pressed to her ear. She is whispering frantically to Jim on the other end while pacing.)_

Pam: I don't know what to do anymore, Jim! I mean, he's completely butchering every sale. He's totally clueless-- I can't believe that, out of all people, _he _had to be my only coworker...

Jim: Whoa, slow down Beesly. I may not be Ryan's biggest fan, but you can go a little easy on the guy...

Pam _(incredulous)_: But he's an _idiot!_

Jim _(chuckling)_: Okay, he's an idiot then. But what's the big deal?

Pam: He's completely ruining every sale we go on! He texts during the meetings, he's totally rude to the customers, and I'm pretty sure he rated one customer, Amy, as: 'an 8 in Scranton, but a 7 anywhere else on earth'...

Jim: So, he's embarrassing you in front of those guys?

Pam _(faltering)_: No-- I mean, yes... I think.

Jim _(patiently)_: Pam, I've seen your guy's sales numbers, and they're not too bad. And ever since Michael started taking clients from Dunder-Mifflin, you've been moving up pretty quickly on the Scranton corporate ladder. So it doesn't really matter if you get those sales, right? What's this really about, Pam?

_(Pam stops pacing, looking down. She then looks up, giving a sheepish glance to the camera.)_

_(TH)_ Pam _(defiantly)_: Okay, yeah I admit it-- I was hoping that Ryan and I would go on these sales calls today and, possibly, we could bury the hatchet. So sue me. Does it make me such a terrible person for wanting to connect with someone by driving around in a car all day with them during work hours? _(pauses, then continues quietly)... _Seriously, does it?

Jim _(cont.)_: Look-- it you want to get along better with Ryan, appeal to what he likes. You should know at least that much.

Pam _(going red)_: Why would I--?

Jim _(interrupting)_: Oh wait-- Gotta go: Michael's listening.

_(hangs up. Only a dial tone is heard through Pam's end of the phone.)_

Pam _(looks up at the camera, confused)_: Michael?

* * *

_(Back at Dunder-Mifflin, by Jim's desk. Jim hangs up the phone while Michael sneaks up behind him, giggling to the camera. He suddenly slips his hands over Jim's eyes.)_

Jim _(overly-shocked)_: Oh my God! Guys, what's happening? The lights just went out!

Michael _(snickering, his hands still over Jim's eyes)_: No-- it's me, silly!

Jim _(relieved)_: Oh, thank God... Is this Dwight?

Michael _(smile faltering slightly)_: No...

Jim: Oh... Meredith?

Michael: No.

Jim _(snapping his fingers)_: Toby!

Michael: Ew, God no!

Jim: The pizza guy?

Michael: Uhm...

Jim: Oh, _now _I know who it is-- Pam, right?

Michael _(starting to get frustrated)_: No, Jim this isn't Pam!

Jim: You sure sound like Pam.

Michael: I don't sound anything like Pam!

Jim: Sure you do, Kelly.

Michael _(angry)_: Gah...!

_(Michael growls in frustration. He takes his hands off Jim's eyes and stalks off, grumbling. Jim just blinks and grins at the camera.)_

**End Scene 6**

* * *

_(Andy is sitting at his desk, glancing around as if he was nonchalantly looking for something. Erin suddenly saunters out of the kitchen, and Andy quickly begins straightening up an already neat pile of file folders on his desk.)_

_(Erin stops, looking at Andy's desk. It is completely spotless, and she appears impressed.)_

Erin: Wow, Andy...

_(Andy looks surprised when he sees her.)_

Andy: Oh, Erin! I was just cleaning up, I'm so embarrassed...

Erin: No, it's totally fine! Keep up the good work.

_(She grins while giving him a pat on the shoulder. Andy positively glows while she walks away.)_

Andy (_calling after her)_: Will do, m'lady!

_(Andy smiles again before looking at something offscreen, his grin suddenly fading. Camera pans over to reveal Dwight staring at Andy, a fiercely angry look in his eye. Andy raises his eyebrows.)_

_(TH) _Dwight: Andy may have won this battle with Erin, but I do not give up that easily. If I want something, I'm going to do anything and everything in my power to get it. Like Hitler and the Germans-- _(glaring at the camera) __Ich wiess wo du wohnst Andrew Bernard... _

_(Subtitles: "I know where you live, Andrew Bernard)_

_(Dwight stares harshly at Andy for a while longer. Andy is starting to get creeped out, finally blinking after a minute and looking away.)_

**End Scene 7**

* * *

_**To Be Continued **_

**A/N: I'm sorry, this chapter is so short. It's been a terribly busy week, and I wanted to get this out asap. Hope to hear that you liked it anyway:)**


	5. Chapter 5

**The Office**

**Cleaning Day

* * *

**

_**Closing**_

_(Hidden camera is set on Pam's dashboard, in Pam's car. Pam is driving)_

Pam _(glancing over at Ryan)_: So... do you think we got any of those sales today?

Ryan_ (nodding)_: Yeah, totally. I mean, anything's possible, right?

Pam _(giving the camera a look)_: Right...

_(They fall into awkward silence. Pam is looking uncomfortable, staring ahead of her at the road. Ryan's phone suddenly rings with an incoming text message.)_

Ryan _(checking his screen, groaning)_: Oh, God.

Pam _(glancing over)_: What?

Ryan: Michael found out my new phone number.

Pam _(sympathetically)_: Oh, I'm so sorry.

Ryan _(reading)_: "Partee time bro! Get ur hot ass down here man!" _(glancing up at Pam)_ Honestly, I'd really rather not find out what kind of party he's throwing by himself in that janitors closet.

Pam _(chuckling)_: Actually, I think he went up to Dunder-Mifflin for the day.

Ryan: Wow, seriously? Where'd you hear that?

Pam: Jim called earlier today, but he had to hang up kinda suddenly. I mean, that has Michael written all over it, doesn't it?

Ryan _(snickering)_: Totally. _(shaking his head) _God, those poor, poor people...

_(Both laugh, then fall into a comfortable silence.)_

Ryan _(cont.)_: Hey, remember when Michael decided to buy a puppy for the office?

Pam _(laughing)_: --And it peed all over his computer??

_(Ryan cracks up along with her.)_

Ryan: God, that was so priceless!

_(They both laugh again.)_

Pam: That's almost as good as when he super-glued the door to it's frame last week. Remember that?

Ryan _(lighting up)_: Yes! Man, the possibilities are _endless..._!

_(Pam laughs and grins at the camera)_

_(TH-hallway) _Pam _(shrugging happily)_: Who knew that what would connect two people who work at the same poker table in the same janitor's closet at the same lousy job... would be their boss? _(smiles brightly again)

* * *

_

_(TH) _Andy _(cockily)_: Yeah, I totally won the receptionist over for today. I mean, Dwight had a good run. But the bear will always beat the bull, am I right? _(grins happily) _I know Dwight, and I know he'll lay low for a few weeks before trying to steal her away again. During which time I will try to woo her right off her feet. It shouldn't be too hard, 'cause A) The Nardog is a MASTER woo-er of the lady-type, and B) I can TOTALLY tell she's into me. _(nods)_ I mean, she's always sweet to me and she smiles a lot whenever I'm around...

_(TH) _Erin _(raising her eyebrows)_: Here? Oh gosh, no. _(shakes her head fiercely) _Absolutely not. No way in heck am I going to date _anyone _from this office--

_(TH) _Andy _(cont.)_: ...aaaand she likes all the same things I like, and we work at the same office together so what does that tell you--?

_(TH) _Erin _(cont.)_: ...Absolutely. Not. _(stares emphatically at the camera)_

_(TH)_ Andy _(cont.)_: ... So, yeah... I have a really good feeling about this. _(smiles eagerly)_

**End Scene 8

* * *

**

_**The End**_

**A/N: I'm sorry that this last Andy/Erin segment was a little AU, but I thought it would be kinda funny for the last part of the story. Hopefully you guys won't mind too much.  
**

**So what's the verdict? Good? Bad? Tell me what you think!:)**


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